I’m not giving up!

I’ve missed all the nines that I’ve had chances to win. I miss after I hit my 2nd shot. My percentage of shot-making is below 5 percent. I lost 4 dinners to a friend. I never won a set. I almost won a few sets but lost when my opponent chased from 2-6 down over 4 times in a row. I lost 0-7. I’m fucked up. My stroke is ok but my mental game is fucked up. I’m fucking pissed with my game. I wish I didn’t miss so many… How the #*$@ can I win a match in a tournament. I screamed multiple times in the car while driving back, I punched the steering wheel. I went mad. I knew I shouldn’t have been mad. I knew I had to keep my cool. I was impatient, and I desperately want to excel in what I have done well before. I’m playing THE WORST GAME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m over-reacting and being dramatic.

I’m angry at I practice so hard and I get worse and worse instead of getting better. There’s no justice. The world isn’t fair. And you think that I’m obsessed and crazy.

But I’m not giving up! When we reach rock bottom, there’s no where else to go but up. But I’m damn hell pissed off!!! ARRGHH!!