Funny lame jokes with a guitar

I wonder if you guys watched this before. Its pretty good.

I especially like the part about “ladies” and “oranges”… hahahaha

“Will you marry me?”

Seriously… those were the first words that came to my mind when I heard Olivia sing (ok I heard her sing and then saw her picture)… Its terrible that I’m writing such biased and possibly stereotypical and discriminating opinions… sorry I’m just completely swept off my feet (no wait… that phrase is meant for ladies)… I’m swooned over just by her looks and voice, and I wanna marry her? Hello!!!

You know, if say one out of the million chances that fate might bring, that we got acquainted…. again…. HELLO!!!!

I can’t bear myself to be objective about this album. Yes gals who sing like her and look like her become every guy’s dream woman… ok I just can’t do this review… I just can’t… she’s just so perfect… oh God I said it!! no!!!!!

ok… calm down… k… rite… phew…. ok… yup… tsssss…. ok… yah… ok… here we go…

Her music is basically jazz inspired, which doesn’t really mean that its pure jazz. It sounds like jazz, because of the rhythm that’s freely improvised by the dictions and delayed placement of on and off beats… and yes it is definitely bossa nova, and Olivia has a voice that can just melt and soothe the hearts of men. She doesn’t have a strong projectile voice like the whitney houstons and the christina aguileras… but its stable and light and she just catches the essence of the lyrics and jazzy rhythms extremely well. When I hear her sing… I just simply hear singing… as in I don’t start comparing the voice to another wonky musical instrument… and it’s just great that she has that soulish feel when she sings, and its light! Normally you’d associate soul to big voices but this is different my friends. The songs are really simple and lean towards more feminine annotations, which really just exudes a ton of oestrogen… ok I’m seriously exaggerating… how can a CD emit oestrogen? I can hear all the women yelling out blasphemy now… but that was probably what made me swoon over Olivia like a horny monkey… no I mean a crazy fella… horny monkey’s just… arrghh…. that’s my alter ego talking… Anyway… she has that femininity that I so fall easily for in a woman… her voice is just so tenderly mellow… and to top it off she has that next door girl look that is cringingly attractive.

Although marriage seems like a real long shot (oh purrlease!), its really so nice to hear her sing over and over again. I’ll bet she can’t do that in real life.