Sick and emotions kicking in…

Its one of those days… I caught the cold a couple of days ago. And now its come full blown into phlegm and suspecting an infection.

It wasn’t a bad weekend really, but being sick didn’t really help. This weekend I didn’t attend service in church for a spiritual recharge… well… at times I battle with myself whether I’ll end up with a bad week ahead for not recharging, also thinking rationally that it shouldn’t happen unless you screwed up real bad, and if that happened it had nothing to do with spiritual recharging or not. I guess this just means that God means a lot to me, as for why, at the moment I don’t really know whether its because of habit, or really because of the Holy Spirit. Yeah its one of those days where doubts set in and kinda mushes up the infrastructure of my thoughts.

Ecclesiastes 1: 18
For in much wisdom is much grief, And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

I wouldn’t say that I know a lot… but I think I know enough to feel the sorrow that comes with knowledge… knowing that I’m not perfect, and many times, acknowledging that my very own beliefs aren’t perfect. Which confuses me at times when I look for a certain direction to go, but discover that the direction isn’t as picture perfect as it appears on the surface. As most people will say, give and take, there’re always disadvantages and advantages when it comes to solutions… and we are always constantly faced with change and challenges… leading to sorrow at times. Well, at least that’s how I interpret the verse. And I just feel that this verse is really reflective of my current state of mind.

A lot of people will probably agree that I’m thinking too much, but nevertheless my desire for expression of thoughts is exceeding the likelihood of keeping my mouth shut for the sake of my pride. Hmm… I realize I have a knack of really long sentences that make things really hard to understand at times.

Its almost 10pm, and although I hope to sleep early, haven’t had dinner yet due to a lack of appetite earlier on.

As I just ironed my clothes awhile ago, I lost my train of thought while writing… now its come back to me… earlier on FS messaged me on MSN and his nick wrote “Do you need to be a doctor or lawyer to be successful?” My first reaction in my head was “of course not” but further pondering, a lot lawyers and doctors are deemed to be successful. Well… what dawned on me was whether the statement was true or false? And for a moment I just got confused as to what’s true and not true about everything in the entire universe.

My only conclusion is that half truths exist. And my mind’s just on an endless roll asking “then is God a half-truth?”. You know… there is just so much truth in the Bible about how to lead your life to make it great and wholesome… and there are just so many people out there who don’t think they need to know it to lead a better life, and probably because its associated to the existence of God. And for this very basis don’t believe that being in any sort of religion can improve the status of their lives, well… maybe because believing in a God is deemed as ”foolish” or “irrational” when we live in a rational world of logic and science. And that statement in itself isn’t 100% true at all…

I just hope my mind stops thinking because eventually I think I’ll just become insane with all these endless questions… it just reminded me of the time my ex told me that there is only one truth… and I never enabled to reconcile with that opinion… but I wonder whether that made life more easy or difficult… God I have the most frustrating and confusing thoughts.

Its also one of those days where I just feel alone and hoping there was some company to comfort the endless stream of pointless questions in my head… really not to tell me how I should be thinking… but it’d be comforting for someone to just say “Stop thinking and let’s do something together”… companionship… when will I meet that person who can pull me away from insanity…

Christian slugfests.

They’re all over the net… and yes its so darn abrasive… Especially if you’re a strong believer in “yes there’s a God” or “there just can’t be any god”… then again… interestingly, you do find heavier slugfests when Christian vs Christian as opposed to Christian vs Atheist. Its amazing… this socio-cultural phenomenon… makes me really glad that I studied Sociology (like it makes me smarter than everyone else?)… and yes I’m starting to sound like some wise guy here hahaha… but hey no one really reads what I write, which I sorta hope stay that way after so much crap that the popular bloggers gotta respond to… thank God I’m not on liquidblade or tomorrow.sg or stomp etc etc… 

I’m not going to engage into another intellectual debate or perspective here. The last time I had a similar row was with W, and it just kept going on till it was soooo darn late and I felt bad for making her stay up so late just to prove a simple point. But just to let her know if she’s reading that I really love her (wonder if she’ll really puke) and very glad to have caught up after being seperated for perhaps 8-9 years since secondary school. I remember how much of an ass I was (hope I’m not one anymore) and how rude I was to her when we were 18. And she’s always came across as a sound mind till this date… and a great yet intimidating friend. Actually spent like >3 hours talking to me when I was feeling down and confused about what righteousness is… no it wasn’t a christian slugfest despite my post title.

I came to this little forum after googling for christian slugfests and saw this post…

Originally posted by aarbrock
I am actually on the internet trying to find illustrations for a lesson involving belief vs. unbelief in God. I’m a devout Christian, and I’m actually Worship Leader at my church. I think a large problem with today’s Christians is that some of us are very abrasive. We push God on people until it makes them hate Him (and us), and we end up with boards like these (although this one is extremely mild-mannered). There IS no reason to argue about religion. None. We are all entitled to our own beliefs…that’s what makes America great. Is Christianity pushed? You better believe it. Do I tell people about God’s saving grace and love? Absolutely. My experiences with it are amazing, and there’s nothing in the world that I would trade my relationship with Him for. It just hurts me to see the damage that some Christians have actually done by TRYING to tell people about God. My viewpoint is that I hope the people I talk to will listen. If they do, it’s an opportunity. If they don’t, it’s their choice and it’s my obligation to respect their requests. They didn’t ask for me to talk to them about Jesus. If they don’t want to hear it, they have that right. I just hope this board doesn’t turn into a God-basher being a Christian doesn’t mean shoving God down someone’s throat. It means setting an example through the way you live. Then, people ask questions about why you’re so optimistic in bad situations, or how you can smile when you just lost your wife. God’s been amazing to me, and I know some of you don’t even believe in God…and that’s okay. It’s not my decision to choose your beliefs. I do pray that your eyes will be opened to the awesomeness that I’ve been given, but if that doesn’t happen, I am not entitled to shove it down your throat until you do.God bless all of you. I will probably only get back on this board to see what kind of comments I get back, but more than likely, I won’t reply.”

I thought this was rather appropriately said… and I do share sentiments when christians are so motivated by their leaders to spread the Gospel that we shove it down other’s throats… in benefit of the doubt, it was probably unintentional and due to what people call being overzealous. Life’s tough… there’s always the “overs” and the “unders”… and when you’re in between you can slammed from both sides for being “over” this and “under” that… Ahh… slamma dang dangs…

And yes… God is truly awesome if you really get to know Him.
 

The first double…

Its big. Its mean. Its gonna get messy…

Carl’s Junior baby. No I didn’t eat this after the desecration of Sushi Tei.

Above: Swiss bacon chicken. DOUBLE PATTIES. omfg… the moment my insicors sank into the chicken, the blissful juice exuded onto my tastebuds… the fantastic thing abt it was that it was pipping hot, so the meat was tender. Just awesome stuff… its like I won’t eat any other burger other than Carl’s Junior now.

Has anyone tried Carl’s Junior breakfast before?

Ever seen what’s insane among the insane?

At least we didn’t waste/throw away whatever was left… for the record. When RN and I go out for dinner or any meal, ITS FRIGGIN CRAZY!

On 6 August, we finally reached the seemingly glorious pinnacle of ”how much can 2 people eat”… Seriously… seemingly glorious? More like “what da f*** we like order everything on the bloody menu???”

What you are seeing is true… its like we practically own CNBC or J.P Morgan, da hell… not even the real owners eat that much. Not even my boss eats that much… can you friggin believe how much the entire bill was for 2 people? We could’ve fed a hundred kids at Rwanda… and no I’m so not proud of it… for God’s sake… this will be the last time.

No Sushi Tei for next few weeks.

LASIK was a success…

Just that vision is still fluctuating, and the edges of objects look fuzzy… but the doctors say that its normal. Apparently during my follow up, checked that my right eye has a perfect 6/6. I was very very thankful and can’t wait to make a full recovery. On the downside, seems like my left eye’s gotten an abrasion so had to prescribe a gel to apply before I go to bed. Apparently when I sleep, my left eye tends to dry up a bit, and when I open my eyes, probably gotten the abrasion from my eyelids. So now I’ve got to apply that gel every night while asleep.

It was quite tough to get by 2 days without having much vision, in fact the 1st day was the hardest to pass cos only 1 eye was operated and the other… well… it feels extremely weird to have 1 eye that’s over 1000 degrees and the other regaining normal vision. Not to mention the fact that I couldn’t read/watch tv/do anything that required vision for hours and hours…

I’ve just reorganized my blog… felt that maybe organizing my entries made things easier for you guys to read, in case there was anything that you didn’t wanna read like ranting or about food again. Luckily I did this earlier before I clocked hundreds of posts…

Its been sort of awhile since I wrote a proper post. Last week I played in a small pool tourney held nearby my place, I’ve been preparing for it for the past month. And I also finally hunted down an Andy jump/break cue right before the competition (its the only cue that I can jump well with), and thank God that on the same day, I managed to sell off my Joss and the Ed jump/break… leaving me with cash and the best playing equipment I’ll ever need for my future games. Practiced last Saturday to get used to the table conditions, cloth was fast but cushions were slow… so it was a little tricky to move the cue ball around.

On Sunday, got off to what I would say a lucky+great start. Faced up with a player who was also new in the competition, and the first rack he looked anxious and missed a few crucial shots which allowed me to run about 4 balls and win racks. This went on a couple of racks, and I started to get some good rhythm and controlled the flow of the match. Managed to hit a couple of good combination shots on the 9, and for the first time in my competition experience, I broke and ran out an entire rack. It just felt so huge to do it in a competition when I couldn’t do it so many times while practicing. I also played safe to some success… and I led 7-0 in a best of 8 racks match. But I missed the last 9 ball (bobbled out of the pocket), and my opponent scrapped a rack off me. 7-1. Next match was up against a previous semi/quarter-finalist, and he was in good form. Took the first 4 racks off me in a jiffy, and I also had some bad misses. Thing was, he was really laid back and we were actually chatting away about the layout of the table (how the balls laid out), and I kind of lost focus and just played my normal game… lost 2-6. But I wasn’t sore… and I wasn’t as nervous as the last time I played in a competition. My third and final match was against the previous month’s champion, and he wasn’t in form. I made some terrible mistakes the first rack and thought “that was it” but in the 2nd rack, he started to make some positional errors, which led me to take the 2nd rack and build up more confidence. The next thing I knew, he started under/over running the cueball and couldn’t recover on his shots… he wasn’t playing as well as I expected. Took each rack at a time, and won the last 7 racks in a row… of course I didn’t yell out in joy… that would be so unsportsmanlike… but I asked him why didn’t he play that well, he told me that he didn’t practice for 2 weeks… and also, I figured that he didn’t really grasp the conditions of the table to control the cueball… so… I guess it was a really lucky day. Shook his hand and told him that I hoped to play a better match with him again, he smiled and went off… only to have me realize that he hadn’t signed on the score sheet (otherwise it would’ve been deemed an invalid match)… luckily managed to grab him in time to sign off. I won, 7-1.

I guess one of the highlights of the day was seeing the organiser’s face when he saw the score sheet. He had to question me twice if that was the scoreline between me and the ex-champion. I wonder if my ego had soared to another galaxy cos I saw a couple of familiar faces and went up smiling widely to chat up a bit before leaving, and also chatted up a bit with the organiser on the way to the wash room, saying “I was really lucky…” yeah rite… I should just kept my mouth shut.. haha… also smsed my closer friends that I won… hahaha

So advanced to the next round, which is coming Sunday. There’ll be another round robin again, and I doubt that its going to be as easy as the last round… and I have a lady competitor in my group… although it does mean a little eye candy but it also means a handicap on the 8 ball (she just needs to run till the 8 ball to win a rack)… I’ve never played a good ladies player, let alone give her a handicap… And I’m not sure what’s the standard of the other 2 guys I’m going up against. Just hope that by tomorrow/Saturday my vision clears up and am fit to practice before moving on. I just need to make sure I don’t make anymore mistakes and take it one ball at a time, and one rack at time and keep 100% focused on every shot I get.

Thanks and praise to God… pray that I will survive in the next few matches. =p

What’s a “meme” anyway?

Got tagged again… so here I go…

This one’s called “10 weird habits”

Rules of the game : **Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. **People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. **At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

1. I like to – win (games)

2. I am allowed – To eat pork and beef.

3. My favourite part of my body is – right now its my hair.

4. If i could fix one part of my human body – The heavy dark rings under my eyes.

5. I hate - constipation.

6. If I could date a female celebrity, I would date – Olivia (*grin*)

7. If i could date a male celebrity, it’s – you’ve got to be kidding me…

8. I’m attracted to – Olivia…

9. I hate it – when I lose a hill-hill match.

10. I prefer to sleep – on the bed. DONE.

hmmm… wonder what’s so weird about that…

6 persons chosen to do this are:
1. http://allocohappybutt.blogspot.com/

2. http://fleaflyflooflum.wordpress.com/

3. http://ianlum.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/

4. http://thingie.blogspot.com/

5. http://blog.livedoor.jp/oliviaong/?blog_id=1431178 (it’d be miraculous if she did this)

6. http://allies_attic.blogspot.com/ (again sorry I really dunno who else who blogs…)