Its been a very mixed year… simplicity, complexity…

The year’s coming to an end, and I just feel like writing stuff down about the things that happened this year be it good, bad, ugly, beautiful… etc. Starting with a quiet but nice Christmas. I’ve known E since I was in TMC doing my higher diploma in Mass Communications, I recall that we met in 2002. We met up a few times for breakfast and supper if time permitted, but after a year or so we lost contact with each other, despite pinging her many many times but no reply. But having learnt my lessson with W, at times people just need to be with the people they’re with. Its just fate… but it never means that you’ve lost a friend. I guess real friends stay friends for life… really… and I’m glad that W still remains as one of the best of friends, even though we don’t meet as often as the rest of our good friends.

Till recently, E started to initiate hi’s and hello’s. We’ve not had a real, proper conversation for a few years, and only a few months ago we start to know about what’s going on in each other’s lives. It’d been about 5 years since our last meeting, and we finally decided to meet at the last minute on Christmas Eve. I was watching “Hero” which is a very old jap serial about this public attorney… got an sms from E and went online to see if she was there, since we’re both so pathetically alone on a Christmas eve, we decided to meet up nearby at a multistorey carpark to have beer and ciggies on the top floor. The moon was full and the air was fresh, and the conversation… quite amazing… there was chemistry and it was intellectually stimulating. A fine example of doing the right thing at the right time, at the right place. It’s been a really long time since I’ve had such a good conversation. Feel quite lucky to have met up with E during Christmas… perhaps the best company I’ve had in the past 5 years.

Looking back at the year, feels like its gone by in a flash. I have to think really hard about the stuff that’s happened in 2007, basically because I tend to take things too easily. In terms of work, quite a few colleagues have left for other companies, and quite a few new faces in the office at the moment. It does feel like a year of transition with my GM having left the company and replaced by another one… new procedures and rules put into place… basically quite a bit of new things came up in 2007. Not just colleagues but also spending time with new people like LP, M, Princess, KM, and just recently E… and I have to say life has become a lot more colorful being around such mixed personalities. I also decided to stop thinking too much about life… and just live the life that I want to live, to the fullest and just appreciate the good and get around the bad.

On the other hand, I’ve also stopped going to church. For various reasons that seem hard to comprehend… in my personal opinion, I don’t see much difference in me being christian as compared to other non-christians. In fact we are all the same people, with the same sinful nature who can never escape from the so called “devil’s grasp” till the day we re-unite with the heavenly Father. The bible seems too paradoxical and profound at times… in fact too profound for any human being to comprehend, not even sparing the religious leaders, pastors and priests. My belief in a higher power still stands… but I have doubts that anything of this world can comprehend that power… yet in the bible it says that we are made in God’s image, and its because of that we can comprehend… its only because of sin that we can’t comprehend… That I do agree. But yet, God has allowed evil to take place, not because He approves of evil, but He hopes that by His word we can learn. And if knowing that isn’t enough, living out the word in the flesh… Its plain impossible to be like Jesus, to be like that of a saint… at least for me that’s the case. I’ve since looked at churches as social institutions instead of God’s temple, and I just can’t help it. But I do believe in due time, I might finally understand what this is all about.

Its been a great year for friendships, I feel much more alive than before. I’ve done just about most of the things that I wanted to do other than travelling… and I’m just really glad that I didn’t continue the relationship with S. I would have missed out too much on the new friends and the new discourses…

In terms of money, I definitely have a mountain to climb… with less than a thousand dollars saved in the entire year, it’s not a good sign for the future. On the bright side, I now know how impt it is to prioritize and get your life right… and I’ve got the things I’ve always wanted and saved for. Lasik surgery has made life feel completely different, its given me a boost of confidence and assurance… and aside from visual clarity, I felt a lot more clear about life’s principles and who I am and where I belong. Anyway… I still gotta save more dosh for… ehem… marrying my soulmate if I do find her eventually.

Of course its not been a year of flowery optimism… 2 of my ex-colleagues have filed for divorce, and one my sec sch mates, Clauson, just passed away due to a very rare condition that has hounded him since childhood. The condition he had prevented him from growing normally… he looked like he was still in primary sch when in fact he was already in his late teens. People with his condition would live to a max of 28 years old… I believe he was 26 when he passed on.

As for my divorced ex-colleagues, both ladies, it makes one ponder how fragile a marriage can be… and the divorce wasn’t due to something like having an extra-marital affair, or whatever that seems understandable… but it was the realization that they cannot continue living together anymore, and that living together would stunt their growth and aspirations for the future. Of course at this time and age its really common to get a divorce… but as a romanticist, I’ve always believed that marriage is more than just 2 people getting together. Its about finding your soul mate, your partner for the rest of your life… someone not just there for emotional punching or excess baggage to throw onto… but someone to grow with you and live life with. No offence I’m sure that everyone thinks about this before getting married… don’t they? I realize probably not after listening to S’s account on why she got a divorce… which is of cos too private to reveal. Though perhaps a determining factor was getting married at a rather young age.

There’s just a lot of things to write but I just can’t seem to regurgitate anymore highlights of the year… but I’m thankful that friends like G, W, RN, E, I, WQ, M, L, are still around, asking how I’m doing, asking me to hang out and have fun. I’m really lucky to have great friends.

I’ve not much luck with love… but I do believe that the appropriate person and time will come by… besides being single is just so awesome. I get to meet anyone just about any time and place… I get to do whatever I wanna do whenever I want, I get to buy things without having to think too much about the future. I get to play pool, play games, basketball, watch football… the stuff that many women just can’t understand why we men love to do.

Well, I guess all there is now is to look back once in awhile, and move forward towards what I’m destined for… which I’m still in the process of finding out…