Finally on leave…

I’m really quite thankful for the CNY that I had this year. Went to see my mum’s parents, and they were really happy to see everyone gather. I must say we’re probably one of the healthier families amongst the rest. My cousins and uncles actually went down to play basketball in our new year clothes, and it was just great fun as my uncles were quite sporting together with my younger cousins. Pretty unconventional for a CNY gathering, but I really look forward to CNY now that we’ve been doing it for 3 years straight. We even played american football on the 2nd day when we went to my aunt’s place. Caught up with my handsome looking cousin who came back from New York, its been a really long time since we caught up with each other. He also invited me to go over to New York sometime in June and show me around. I must say… I’ve always wanted to go to the US… I’d probably feel at home there since I’m the ang mo pai. This year’s CNY was one of the better ones I had. Ang pow collection was also more than usual… not to mention went to EK’s place to play Blackjack, and won $24. *grin* After all the mahjong games I lost before CNY….

Also finally met up with E again since after we went to have yong tau foo at Tanjong Katong. We went to have pomfret “steamboat” (forget the correct name) which I thought was a bit pricey at $38, but nevertheless tantalizing.

The fish was really fresh, to the point I was wondering if it was swimming seconds before it arrived on the plate. Another thing that was very obvious, was how skillfully the fish was deboned and sliced cleanly and proportionately. It was really the most proper presentation I’ve ever witnessed. E claimed that once the fish passes by a day, they will fry it and use it for the soup base instead. The soup is darn good. For a carnivorous dude like me, I was impressed at how nice fish soup can be if done really well. But my fav dish of the night was the self-made tofu braised with brocolli, mushroom and dried scallops… my eyes just lit up followed by the sensationalized expression of “its… so… damn… nice…”

This is like the definite must order dish next time I’m there. Aside from the food, E’s company was good too. At times I also forget how nice it is to spend time with her. Tried to meet up before CNY but its either too tired or too busy… but its normal being Singaporean and leading a stressful work life. Nevertheless, treasure those precious moments and don’t take them forgranted.

Bought English Cumberland sausages on Mon night after meeting RN for supper… sharing about how some customers can be stupid yet smart, and working with an over-generous head chef (makes me wanna go there…) anyway, she asked if the sausages were nice… I think not too bad. Really tastes quite “English”… whatever that means…

really have to make sure they’re properly cooked through… there was some rawness in the centre after my first try at pan frying it. I’m still stomped at how hotels have such creamy and fluffy scramble eggs… My craving for American breakfast buffet hasn’t stopped since last year. First of all because no one really wants to wake up that early on a weekend, 2) they think its expensive which is true, 3) they don’t really have the craving like I do.

While I’m on leave, I also stumbled upon some funny looking stuff online…

These are the ang mo cosplays emulating Naruto. boy do they look freakish compared to these pros below…

Kakashi looks so damn cool can………. and Sasuke looks pretty correct here too. And I went ecstatic when I stumbled upon this…

Even Optimus Prime is an Arsenal fan!!! ARSENAL FTW!!!

Despite painting such a colorful CNY… Microsoft stabbed me at the back when I installed the latest nvidia graphics drivers… Vista simply refused to boot into windows, and I didn’t have any proper restore point saved… thus Vista couldn’t repair the problem… leading me to format my entire hard disk and reinstall all the damn softwares and drivers again. Lucky G came down to help a bit. If that wasn’t troublesome enough, Vista prompted me to install new updates which in the end, didn’t shut down properly and caused me to reboot from DVD multiple times to restore it to the previous working state… Its really the disappointment of 2007. I really should’ve gotten XP 64 bit instead. Screw MS Vista… for now. My advice to everyone out there is to get XP now… I think Vista’s gonna need another few years before it really gets stabilized.

Now my Call of Duty 4 saved games all gone…. nooooo…. after all the weapon and ability upgrades…

On the bright side… I had to reinstall my Creative Fatal1ty sound card, and realized I’ve been under-utilizing it from the day I installed it. Now that I’ve reinstalled with all the stuff… the sound is just gawking, amazingly great quality. Watch the Transformers DVD and it was almost as if I was in a theatre. Crysis is also running quite smoothly now at High modes with very high sound settings. In some way, the Vista screw up was also sort of a blessing in disguise… though it bloody better not happen the 2nd time. Need to backup stuff… might need another HDD in the near future.

Still have 1 more day of leave to go… ^_^

Soulfood…

Yes its one of those days where stuff just doesn’t go your way, just about everything feels farked up even though its really not as bad as it seems. You’re just fine… in its “fine” sense. I for one, have found a small outlet of relief from “fineness”. Life didn’t feel that farked up when I had this for dinner before attending my night classes.

For those who don’t eat cow… TOO BAD… you can read further below though. But I must express the innate feelings that derived from confounded senses by the aroma that extrudes from Cowabunga… Yes ladies and gentleman… its Beef Fried Rice at its finest when you’re feeling just “FINE”. I… am tehhling you peepurl ah… this beef fried rice is Si beh ho jiak… (die father very tasty). Because this dish brings me all the way back in time where uncles have their meals while resting their foot on the same chair they sit on… no I would’ve ripped my pants if i did that… It just smells of the 1980s… and that’s the time where food is usually cheap and so much nicer than now. It smells fragrant and just the way beef fried rice should be. Simple. But how many of us know that good fried rice = master of a lost art. I’m not completely blown away by the texture and quality of the food, but when the basics are right: not too salty, fragrant, rice not too hard or soft, consistency, tender beef that’s properly marinated, a real proper “he bao dan”… there’s just no need to ask for more here. My colleague claims that the uncle cooks better when the younger (middle aged) lady is helping with the stall… so far, its the same standard with or without that lady. I shall not divulge where to find this place in my blog for fear that I’ll pollute it in the public sphere of madness. (can still ask me personally if you really want to go and try)

I really find peace and satisfaction when there’s good food around. Its like everything else can be shitty… but at least I’m not eating shit. I’ve not cooked for quite awhile since M, RN and KM came for a cook-over. Which reminds me, I wanted to blog about it but was just too tired at that time to do so… That was last year in November I think, had a long shopping session at IMM to buy the ingredients… and I personally thought that I tried too hard again… nevertheless the results were still good though it was tiring. RN and KM took forever to arrive, and M and I were taking forever to cook everything… it was the time I wished I had one of ‘ose big kitchen ovens like Jamie Oliver has. Because we made baked chicken.

Looks good right? But I didn’t feel it was as good as the chicken chop that I did the last time round. Nevertheless its the first time experimenting with the recipe so I wasn’t that disappointed. M stir fried some of the leftover veges which I thought was the highlight of dinner… she did it just right and I just wanted to keep eating it. We also steamed the live prawns with hua diao…

… which is always good. And doing all this just helps to settle one’s soul… knowing that we’ve still got the basic stuff that we need to move ahead and drive us to greater things. Although things might not look too bright in life, we still have the little things that matter… and no wonder… we can still smile here and there, and remain alive. Cheers to the soul, and to life.

Gong Bao Ji: The verdict. (plus wild card entries)

I didn’t think I’m that good… but I guess I’m not too bad. Followed the planned recipe below but without the scallops, as I was finally convinced that the sauce will just be too overpowering for scallops. It was kinda fun… I nearly cried while chopping onions, and almost choked to death while frying the dried chillies. As usual, aromatic smoke engulfed my entire kitchen. Apparently I seem to be really hardcore, but really I’m not… I just believe that cooking is good for the soul. And although KM was sick, RN had a stomachache at the last minute, M nearly forgot but already made plans, and L couldn’t make it… my bro was around with his friend to enjoy the humble homecooked fare.

I realized that my mum had kept this extremely good chinese rice vinegar, and it seemed to have the x factor that created that depth of flavour. On the the other hand, I realize that I can’t dice chicken meat for nuts… its either my knife was too blunt, or I was just doing it wrong.

Aside from stupidly forgetting the chilli sauce, I thought this was really good for a first timer. The spiciness mainly came from the szechuan pepper and the dried chillies. The sauce was just the way I wanted it to be, thick and full of flavor… In fact I think its probably better to leave out the chilli sauce, unless you really like spicyness. And I thank God that I have a lid for the wok, otherwise I might’ve fainted from the choking aroma of the dried chillies. My bro and his friend fueled my ego by rating this dish 8/10. Its a simple joy eating this with rice. Also thanks to RN for suggesting salt-free cashew nuts!

This one’s a no brainer. It will always taste the same, and its always good. Its not so nice with asparagus so I realized, but consistently delightful with the “golden” mushrooms.

All that wasn’t really enough for 3 people, at least not for me and my bro’s friend. While shopping for these ingredients at Giant (IMM) with RN, the tank of live glass prawns drew me to buy about half a kg which I so happily did. So since the food wasn’t enough, surely I oughta pull out the big guns. I added huadiao, some light soy sauce and sesame oil to marinate the prawns just a little over 8 minutes, pulled them out and put them on a plate and steamed it. After playing 6 mins of Pro Evo Soccer ‘08 on the PS2, prawns were done.

They really tasted like what you get from a chinese restaurant. Peel and dip them in light soy with a few drops of sesame oil… felt like I was in heaven for a moment. Not expensive, plus I still have somemore prawns left. Too bad my original invites didn’t show… missed a real treat here. Parents touching down at 12.20 am later. Maybe cook these for them tomorrow to try.

Sweeeet day today.

I dropped my iPod.

Yes. The one that I won 1st prize in my company lucky draw during Christmas about 2 years back…

Its really sad. But I must admit I’ve not been anal enough about protecting my iPod. Apparently the silicon casing that you see still on, wasn’t enough protection to withstand a 5 foot drop from my chest (hooked on a lanyard). I was shopping for groceries to cook this weekend for friends and family. I was just reaching down to pick up some paprika from the herbs section at NTUC, which was immensely crowded as usual on Friday nights. And I was “wearing” my iPod using a lanyard like I always do, hooked and dangling. As I stood up, it caught the trolley handle, snapped off and just hit the floor. As anyone would say… “shit…” followed by a heavy sigh… did all of that… Apparently a $20 silicone casing doesn’t prevent LCD leakage if dropped. On the bright side. It still works fine. Just pray that the leakage doesn’t spread across the screen.

Thankfully was not bothered by it too much. Got home to marinate the boneless chicken legs. Spent an entire hour marinating the meat (bought 2 kg frozen legs). This one is different from last week’s marinade. By the time I was done it was 12 am and I felt like puking. Too much rawness…

Felt better the next morning. Chicken has marinated overnight. So did a trial run for brunch. Very low fire, skin down, lid on for about 12 mins… vuala…

Skin was nice and crisp and the meat was succulent. Mum thoroughly enjoyed it too. Its actually very nice, but I realized that dried rosemary, oregano and basil was definitely secondary to the original fresh versions you see on Jamie Oliver. The ones I did at RN’s place didn’t have that crispyness on the skin. The wok, stove fire, and lid were all completely different from what I use at home. Plus I could not recreate the sauce I did last sunday because Campbell mushroom soup wasn’t part of the menu (now you know how I make my sauce). RN helped to solve my sauce problem while I was almost unsuccessful trying out Lee Kum Kee black pepper sauce. Cooked for RN and KM only because I wasn’t that hungry, and got a little sick of my own cooking.

After dinner at RNs place, went to east coast together with KM and RN to try out some very good home made ice cream at east coast. Its actually at the ground floor of a condominium named Ocean Park. I must say damn good because I thought it was better than Ben and Jerrys. Ordered mint and chocolate. And the cool thing was they had those “freeze stoves” like the one at Yuki Yaki where you make your own ice cream. They also had lots of topping/mixing choices. I mixed both my chosen flavors with oreos… and it just blew me away.

KM was really tired so sent him back first, then went with RN to ABC Brickworks food centre to have my dinner. Was walking around and came across the aroma of something that I’ve wanted to eat weeks ago…

Authentic claypot rice. woo hoo… God is good. To think we had no idea where to go for dinner after sending KM back. RN was still full and as always, its not easy to think of what to eat at times.  But when this baby arrived at our table… RN simply said “Ok now I’m hungry!” LP lived in the neighbourhood so came down to join us. Thankfully he didn’t want to eat claypot rice… hahaha. I mean… this dish was just fantastic… chicken was nice and tender, perfect blend of sauces… kiam hir (salted fish), and lap chiong (chinese sausages)…. woooot… it was damn satisfying.

Thinking of what I wanna try cooking next weekend. Already done meats… how about some fish… hmm… thinking salmon and cod. Not easy to do nice fish… also thought of doing vongole… also craving for Riciotti at the Riverwalk. Need to learn how to use paprika too… seems like a very nice spice to use but can go wrong if the combinations aren’t right.

A single’s weekend…

The past week of work has been a little more daunting as my helper went for a holiday in HK (with her bf) awww… but nevertheless as the week ended, turned out rather nice on friday as it was my colleague’s birthday… so the 4 of us drove down to IMM for lunch at Ajisen. Its really been awhile since I’ve been there, and it was really nice to have this bowl of thick soup and chewy ramen again.

As our office supplies were running short, we decided to take the opportunity to shop for supplies at Giant at the other corner of IMM. For a guy… I’m considered lucky to be in the company of young female colleagues who are older than me. =p

I never knew shopping with 3 ladies would be so insane… 

 

like that call insane meh? no lor…… this is even more power…

The entire trolley was filled passed the brim, with what I would say a ton of junk food. First it was packs and packs of tetra packed drinks of various flavors, lotsa types of biscuits, a couple of Cheezels fun packs (my personal fav), a lot of instant noodles, instant milo, coffee, tea… ah whatever… the good thing was we got what we wanted. Reached the office damn late of course, boss asked as expected lah… but in the past we used to order online via cold storage and the variety was extremely limited… not to mention expensive. We actually saved a lot more and got much better stuff. 

Woke up rather early in this Saturday morning and caught Larry King Live on CNN… then chatted with W online and discovered she’d been up for 13 hours straight past the wee hours just to help her friends with a theatre make-up plan. It sounded much more disdainful when I found out that she was informed at the extreme last minute yesterday, with the actual play commencing TODAY!! *faint* She was completely gutted, yet could not possibly refuse to help either… its those kinda situations where you get dragged into something you were never part of… and I would never want to be in those types of circumstances. I mean she got the tickets to WATCH the play… not actually like help backstage?? big sigh… could have done much better planning than that…

Speaking of plans… I didn’t really know what to do this weekend… so I brought out my cues and went to Taka to get my new wallet. Smsed JL and ML to find out they weren’t free for a game… and kinda got stuck as to what to do. Then thought why not do some cooking… so spent the remaining $50 voucher at Cold Storage. Got 2 raw ribeye steaks, nice and pink, 3 fresh chicken legs deboned (for chicken chop), a pack of white button mushrooms, a pack of “golden” mushrooms (the long straw like type), some high grade smoked bacon, and couldn’t believe that they didn’t sell Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and ended up getting Cornettos. $51.85. Smack on budget.

Got on a cab to rush back to marinate the meats, called parents beforehand but they couldn’t confirm if they were coming back for dinner, so just prepared only for my bro and I.

First up was the ribeye (for mua)… looked absolutely gorgeous. Rubbed in a generous amount of salt on both sides, freaked out when there wasn’t enough coarse black pepper remaining… dug the cabinets and discovered Szechuan pepper… and boy it smelled really spicy… but the fragrance was perfect, so just put a few dashes of that. Next key part was red wine… dug the cabinets again to find a 2001 Cabernet Merlot… woo hoo… made a whole mess trying to uncork it, but managed to get a few splashes of that onto the meat. That’s it. Doesn’t seem like much… but I love food that’s made simple and you get the natural flavours of the meat which is just fantastic.

For my bro it was chicken… and the marinate was just as simple. About a teaspoon of oyster sauce, some teriyaki sauce, few drops of sesame oil for fragrance, and some coarse brown sugar to increase the savory flavor. I might be more adventurous if I had more herbs and sauces but that was really all my mum kept in stock.

Both meats marinated for about an hour while I was watching tv. Got back to the kitchen and took out the strawlike mushrooms and bacon. Chopped off the roots (contained remaining soil) washed it, and wrapped bunches of it with bacon. This was just gonna be the side dish with the main course. So really simple… smoking hot pan and sauteed the bacon wrapped mushrooms till the bacon fat melts retaining a crispy exterior. By the time I was done, my kitchen was filled with smoke. Side dish done.

With the bacon fat and juices from the mushroom in the pan, I just dumped the marinated steak in. The result was the biggest and highest flambé in my kitchen’s history (from my waist up to my head). It took over a minute for the alcohol to fully vaporize, and luckily I was quick enough to turn the steak to its other side cos clearly the initial side was charring… I got really worried but thankfully it wasn’t overcooked. After just another minute or so, steak was done and I brought it out to the dining table to let the meat set for awhile.

Now with the juices from the steak, bacon and mushrooms, in went the chicken, skin downwards. Charred the skin a bit to make it crispy… by now… the kitchen looked as though we just extinguished a fire. Once the meat firmed up, off the stove. Dinner was done.

So now to taste… and I’ve never been more satisfied. The chicken wasn’t overcooked and it was very tender. My bro went “Wah…” and kept nodding. And the steak was almost a perfect medium doneness. Pinkish in the centre, very tender… and it was really sweet. The wine’s darn good. Bacon and mushrooms will never go wrong. Standard taste always good. My mum came out and tried the steak… and kept asking for more… hahaha… found that it tasted better than jack’s place (figured its the wine). Nothing tasted dry and I’d do it again if anyone would wanna try my cooking haha… its really enjoyable when you cook and pple say that its good. The last time someone commended was during a bbq with my colleagues… grilled the steaks for them. God I love beef… but honestly… I can’t cook many things other than beef/chicken/fish. I also find stir frying rather tricky. Also I have no clue how to make a good sauce… still got lots to learn…

Still have 1 more steak and 2 more chicken chops… thought of trying something different with it… like with noodles or something but… really not enough ingredients to get more creative. Also low on budget and shag to do grocery shopping during the crowded weekends.

Hands are itching to play pool tomorrow… and registration for the new tournament format started. Ought to register soon…

The first double…

Its big. Its mean. Its gonna get messy…

Carl’s Junior baby. No I didn’t eat this after the desecration of Sushi Tei.

Above: Swiss bacon chicken. DOUBLE PATTIES. omfg… the moment my insicors sank into the chicken, the blissful juice exuded onto my tastebuds… the fantastic thing abt it was that it was pipping hot, so the meat was tender. Just awesome stuff… its like I won’t eat any other burger other than Carl’s Junior now.

Has anyone tried Carl’s Junior breakfast before?

Ever seen what’s insane among the insane?

At least we didn’t waste/throw away whatever was left… for the record. When RN and I go out for dinner or any meal, ITS FRIGGIN CRAZY!

On 6 August, we finally reached the seemingly glorious pinnacle of ”how much can 2 people eat”… Seriously… seemingly glorious? More like “what da f*** we like order everything on the bloody menu???”

What you are seeing is true… its like we practically own CNBC or J.P Morgan, da hell… not even the real owners eat that much. Not even my boss eats that much… can you friggin believe how much the entire bill was for 2 people? We could’ve fed a hundred kids at Rwanda… and no I’m so not proud of it… for God’s sake… this will be the last time.

No Sushi Tei for next few weeks.

Homemade goodness?

I must thank my dear friend RN who actually made the effort to attempt one of the most difficult recipes of all time…

That is… ta da!!… the Hamburger. 

Seriously… its not easy to make good burgers. Why? Cos there are so many variables that can turn a hamburger into sh*tburger. Here’s how I look at a burger. The essence of burgers is the meat that goes in between the buns. That itself poses a challenge for a place that’s made burgers since the day of Mcdonalds… no wait a minute… oh sorry I’m being oxymoronic and forgot they made hamburgers… no wait… they don’t. They make… ok I might get sued if I say that.

For me, the meat that goes in between the buns needs to be fresh. If its minced beef, its definitely got to retain some redness and juice, which really isn’t easy. Unlike chicken patties, Beef patties are extremely tricky. You got to ensure that the minced beef binds itself together after its marinated with the other stuff and doesn’t fall apart. And you can’t add too much ingredients/garnish cos it will kill that sweet beefy taste. Thin beef patties are a sin (ahem), and tend to get overcooked. Results in dryness and doesn’t taste like real beef. Thick is the way to go, because there’s less risk in overcooking and the juices and full flavor is retained in the core of the patty. But there’s a risk of under-cooking which can be just gross. Its really not easy people.

Chicken patties are a lot simpler. NEVER EVER use minced chicken… its like the 2nd most idiotic thing to do in life (1st would be using minced fish, practically fish cake!). Seriously… frozen patties contain stuff like spittle in there. Sure the packages look incredibly scrumptious… but nothing beats a fresh block of breast/thigh meat. In fact, despite being an avid beef fanatic, I very much prefer chicken burgers. Reason for that is because the meat is original. Its not ruthlessly smashed into little bits, and the texture of chicken can be seriously underestimated.  

Anyway, here’s what RN made for me.

You gotta admit the pic looks pretty darn good. I told RN that I was gonna review her burger on my blog and she agreed so… I’ll try my best not to hurt people’s feelings here.

I liked the buns, and I liked the fact that she was bold enough to include raw onions (they can really sting at times but the kick gives character), and mayonnaise is always a safe bet on a burger. Coming to the essence, which is the beef, I ate it sort of at room temperature because I came really late after cell group meeting. I must say, no matter what, if the patty is hot, its gonna be good, anyway her way of seasoning the patty reminded my mum’s recipe for fried minced pork, not really American but tasted more oriental. I prefer American. And she innocently made a terrible mistake of not removing peppercorns that were meant to flavor the oil before pan frying. Really nice touch with the flavored oil… but can you imagine the horror of biting into that? Anyway she sincerely apologized and you know its just really mean to irk at someone’s effort at something that difficult. On the whole I’ll give what I ate a 5 out of 10, and a possible 7 out of 10 if the meat was hot and without the booby trap peppercorns. Oh… sorry… kudos to the mushrooms though… Nicely sauteed, just that it was cold too, which was my fault cos I was late. Should try a chicken thigh patty next time with similar seasoning… it’ll be a lot nicer.

Probably the best chinese food…

Crystal Jade Dining In. Vivocity.

The price is quite high though… but the food possibly spectacular. Last Saturday was my Grandma’s chinese birthday (have no idea how old she is lunar calendarwise), and Sunday was my brother’s 20th birthday. And all that just means… EATING GOOD FOOD!

Well, now that the reason for being in an expensive restaurant is accounted for, move on to the main thing… we ordered the usual variety of dim sum. At min $4.50 per long, its a really spikey price… you wonder whether the food is gonna be all that worth. But when you look at the smiling crowd and the slight queue, you couldn’t deny that the place doesn’t serve good food. First thing that arrived was the steaming hot Siew Mai……. i have to mention. Spectacular. When I had the first bite… I had to pause. Not because it was too hot, but the savory taste and texture just blew me away. There are ok ones, good ones, very nice ones, and there’s the king of siew mai… I seriously wonder if I just tasted the king. But is it worth 4.50? I dunno… i just know that its darn good. The rest of the dim sum ordered also maintained very high standards. The Har Kau…. can u believe it… was juicy, it had this clear broth in which i had no idea how the savory taste could be concocted. Very good. We also had chee cheong fun (prawn), equally segmented and neatly presented so you won’t have to make a mess on the plate. And there was suckling pig with roast pork… the suckling pig was good, but what really worked was the skin of the roast pork. It was perfectly roasted…. again I emphasise, perfectly roasted. Because the skin wasn’t the least tough/chewy like some of those hawker stalls you buy takeaway for dinner… the skin was so perfect, that just after a slight bite it just crumbles and melts in your mouth.

Then there is my favorite crispy seafood noodles, and this one is much better than the one I had at Crystal Jade Holland Village. The sauce is a lot more refined and had a very affirming taste for critical tastebuds. Tantalizing… the whole lunch meal there… I could say was probably the best meal I’ve ever had. Mainly for 3 reasons: 1) All of the dishes tasted wonderful 2) We weren’t too full 3) The restaurant itself was a great place, chic and modern decor, the waitresses looked very sharp in their uniforms (seniors wore Matrix-like attire) and the service was prompt.

 

I will rate the place 5 out of 5 for my first visit. Couldn’t do justice to give less. Hopefully the restaurant maintains it standard.

More food…

Crystal Jade Kitchen – Holland Village

I finally had my Crispy Seafood Noodles (or was it Seafood crispy noodles), anyway… the pic speaks for itself. Kailan (vegetable) is really nice and perfectly cooked, the seafood rather fresh, and the crunchy noodles are flavorful together with the sauce, and I learnt a new way to describe prawns from someone else’s blog… BURSTY prawns… heh… anyway this has become one of my fav main courses in Crystal Jade. I’m rating it 8 out of 10 for this one.

Just that the first time I tried this dish, it tasted better than my 2nd try… is it just me or when it comes to food, the first time you try something it’s always nicer than the 2nd try?